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12-17-2004, 05:41 PM

# 107 (permalink)

Mr. Christian

My Cape Is at The Cleaners

Join Date: Nov 2004

Location: Metropolis

Posts: 1,117

Oh yes The Normal Life,

How I long for it.
Here are my letters to wife and son:

My Dear Trudy,

You asked that I write you, well here it is. I hope it’s not too long.

First I wanted to tell you about my co. Christmas party. I took Angelo and we set sail out of Newport harbor. We were on The Duke’s yacht, “The Wild Goose”. This boat was built in the 1940’s, saw service in WW2, and then was a party boat for the Rat Pack and Bob Hope.
The lights in the harbor were beautiful and the homes and ships were all decorated for Christmas. I wish you could have seen this.

This is a good company I’m with now Trudy. I’ve worked very hard to get here. The position pays far better then former jobs, and it comes with full benefits. The future is bright here and it is something you know I’ve been looking for, for some time. A chance to take care of my family and provide a better future.

I guess the time has come to share with you a lot of thoughts I have within me. This process has been very difficult I am sure for both of us.

I have been doing a lot of thinking and praying about our marriage. I have come to understand myself more fully that emotions and attitudes stemming from what I saw in my upbringing controlled my behavior at times. I do recognize that I do not have to be a slave to those feelings anymore and those attitudes have changed.

Al-anon has helped me a great deal. In truth I went because of you, but I stayed for me.
I found out issues about myself. I found out what drove my obsessions and made me feel that I need to be in control all the time. I found people, both men and women that did all the crazy things I have done, acted in all the way I have, and I found a way to restore serenity.
More then anything else I found friendships with people who are good and ask nothing from a person.

Trudy I admit to you that I have failed in many ways and I ask for your forgiveness for those failures. I have been doing so much reading and I found many books that have stimulated my thinking and come to the decision that I want to work on restoring our marriage. I know that I will not be able to do this without your help. I understand you may feel reluctant. I know there is a lot of good from our past that would encourage you to try again! I want us to work at something far more meaningful than we have ever had. I want us to take whatever steps are necessary to gain self-understanding and understanding of each other. I know that it will take work, and may be trying, but I am willing to do whatever is necessary.
I have come to realize that you and I did not meet our intimate emotional needs in this marriage. I did not meet your need for the love and affection you so justly deserve and needed from me.

I have found peace within myself Trudy. But the piece missing now in my life is you. Everything was always you Trudy. You are my sun and my rain, you are everything to me, with out you, life itself is not the same.
I have to tell you that my love for you and Traz is unconditional, and nothing that has happened while we have been apart matters. I shall always love you, no matter what. This love will never die.

Again I am so very sorry for not expressing my love for Traz and you as I should of.

I can not change these past actions, but I have learned from them.

I was always so secure in you love for me, which I embedded in my mind this was forever and I still believe that till this day.

For every one bad thing you may think I have done, I know I have done 50 things far more greater in this relationship. It’s just a matter of remembering in your heart what we truly had!
I propose to you for the sake of unity that we begin to restore this marriage for what it is truly worth for two people who truly love one another. I suggest we communicate more often. See each other weekly or biweekly to get to know one another again. To explore what brought us together in the beginning. I truly believe that with hard work, understanding, communication and change that we will have a far better future by restoring the dream that both of us had when we first met!
I do not expect an answer right away. I want you to truly and really think about this!

I realize love is a choice, not a decision. We both made so many promises to one another, and I have always known my choice and I am keeping my promises and vows that I made to you!

I do love and miss you both so very much.

With Love, Your Husband,

Christian.

.................................................. .................

Dear Traz,

How have you been? It seems like such a long time since I have seen you or have had the chance to talk to you.
I hope your doing ok, and that school is working out better for you this year.

I really need to express some thoughts to you, and let you know some feeling that never got to be said.
So please have a little patience with me.
I do have to tell you how very sorry I am with the fact that it was always very hard for me to show you how I feel.
The truth is I do love and care for you very much.
In the time that you and your Mother have been away I have gone through many changes, all for the better.
I have found out why it was hard for me to show love, and with that I have discovered so much more.
I do love your Mother very much, she is the most wonderful person that ever entered my life and I feel the same about you.
I miss you both very much.

Sometimes in life things happen to a person that opens their eyes and their heart.
I really would like a chance to be with you both again.
Again I’m so sorry for any actions in the past that may have hurt you. I also want you to understand that no matter what ever happens, I am here for you.
I am just a phone call away.

Love, Christian