Isn't it amazing how LOUD those little voices in your head can be!?!?!
SNST- I feel like you do...I feel like if I had not stumbled onto this site I really would be, at this very moment, trying to figure out a way to get my meds!!
I will honestly tell you that this decision has been a long thought out process...I had that one "friend" ( yeah, right!!) that I know I could call at any time and would always come through with something...Well, 2 weeks ago today, I stopped that relationship "cold turkey"!! I mean, this person was calling and texting before I ever opened my eyes every single morning!!! So, that morning I never responded to any text or call...and believe me, there were MANY!! And they got real ugly at one point...But I stopped reading them, just deleted them...Blocked and deleted the number!! And I don't know anybody's numbers anymore..LOL...i just rely on the name I can pull up on my contact list....So I started that part of the life change then..That felt like a huge weight lifted off my back!!! When I told my Hubby about it that week at his rehab visitation, I don't think I have seen him that happy in years!! That made me feel great! I just hate that I can't share all of these experiences with him all the time...the good, the bad, the horrible, the funny, the sad, the big, and the
small!! That's been the hardest for me! It's always just been the two of us for 25 years! Truly my best friend! Maybe we needed to go through this apart to appreciate it and succeed at it! And don't get me wrong, I have not deluded myself into thinking that this will be an easy fix or that I won't relapse and have to start this whole horrific process over again! I'm just so tired of this whole life we get sucked into!
Lord knows the ONLY reason I have been able to go to work is the fact that i dread having to ask my Mom for money MORE than I dread these dang symptoms..LOL!! You all just don't have a clue!!!LOL!!!! She's a scary woman! Honestly, I LOVE my parents!! But having to live with them again at 40 would actually drive most people TO drugs rather than AWAY from them!! HEY, I think I just found my motivation!!! LOL....Having my life back and my money back to get our home back!! I'm sorry guys, I tend to ramble...maybe it's just all the restlessness lately...
I get such encouragement from reading about everybody's experiences!!
WE can all beat this together!!!!