Wow... sounds like my story. My husband has been sober for close to 30 years and has not an ounce of empathy for my struggle with sobriety. He quit one day and never went back. However, he still smokes pot but that's okay (he says) because it's not a problem. Whatever.
I feel your pain. I get accused or get the stink eye for any reason, no support whatsoever. Then he seemed hurt when I told him I couldn't talk to him because he is so judgmental... that's why I go to AA meetings, for help and understanding.
I do hear you and I'm in the same boat. Thanks for sharing.