Originally Posted by
Kindeyes 
Why the heck an addict want to hang out with an codependent who is trying all the while to change them.
gentle hugs
ke
I asked D this very same question while he was in a fairly strong spiritual place at the SA. I believe his answer was 100% truth.
he said his codependents were all his enablers. we loved him so much and would never ever abandon him. while trying to change him, we clothed him, fed him, gave him a place to sleep. we always forgave him. He got to feel better about himself because all of his using guy buddies had girlfriends who used drugs with him. Being with me let him say he was better than them. He got and was able to keep a so called "straight edged" sober, Christian girl. surely he wasn't as bad as his friends because all of their girlfriends or parents either had gone no contact or were users themselves. It never clicked in his brain to question what was wrong with me that I being a "good Christian" and "sober girl". would stay with a heroin addict, instead he thought to himself he wasn't that far gone.. He also told me that his codies kept him alive. without the codies there are two outcomes: either he dies physically, or the addiction dies.
Yes. D was and is capable of spinning a great web of lies, and not get caught, just like a spider rarely gets caught in their own web, but this was one of the few and far between answers that I believe was brutally honest.