I agree that this forum IS the right one to discuss this, because we share as peers who have been through the same thing together and we share what helped US.
Sickntired, my thoughts are that sick attracts sick and healthy attracts healthy. Perhaps that is why codependents (before recovery) are drawn like moths to a flame to addicts (before recovery). We are sick and accept the unacceptable behaviour of our sick loved ones.
When we know better, we do better and as we get healthy we think more clearly.
I'm sorry this is troubling you, but perhaps it is one of those strangely wrapped gifts that allows you to see him for what he is, a sick active addicts doing what sick active addicts do, and perhaps that will help you move forward in a healthy way in you own life.
Hugs