Stay strong. Keep your head up. I know these are cliches, but they became overused phrases for a reason. Find the strengths within yourself and utilize them. Find the resources within yourself, your healthy relationships, your community, and here. One of the hardest aspects of suffering is realizing that sometimes you're alone in doing it. Being on here means that you are trying not to suffer in silence. You want better. That's why you're here. The other hard part is not being able to reach other people. When it comes down to it, we're all responsible for our own actions and ours alone. Best wishes.
CM