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Worst Day 1 Ever

Old 05-13-2013, 11:08 AM
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Unhappy Worst Day 1 Ever

And I've had my share of them. More than I would ever care to count. But I've hit it too hard this time around. Five-and-a-half weeks straight of a daily pint (or more) of vodka. I spent almost all of Mother's Day either puking in the bathroom or sleeping on the couch while the rest of the mom's out there were enjoying their kids. I was sick all night and didn't sleep AT ALL. Now I feel completely exhausted but I can't sleep because I'm so restless and no position is comfortable. My stomach is completely empty, but nothing sounds appealing. My hands are getting shaky, too. This sucks. Someone, please, for the love of God, tell me that Day 2 is better.
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Old 05-13-2013, 11:13 AM
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If you've had your fair share of day 1's have you not also had some day 2's?
Only you and your body can tell.
But a pint of vodka everyday or more, I'd say you might wanna go get some medical help.
Are you alone? cus would also be a good idea to have somone with you incase the withdrawal gets worse.

I hope you do feel better soon though, try write down how your feeling now so in a few days when your feeling better and tempted to drink you can read back and make the decision to stay sober.
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Old 05-13-2013, 11:59 AM
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Withdrawals don't get better with every relapse, they get worse. So do whatever you have to ensure this is your last day one.

You've mentioned rehab in a previous post. Maybe it's time. You can't seem to beat this on your own.
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Old 05-13-2013, 12:05 PM
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Hi noexcuse. That's why I finally just stopped trying to pretend I could ever control what I drank. Every single time I ended up feeling like you do now, and as Carl said - each time it got worse. You never have to feel this way again - here's where it can end - and your new life of freedom from alcohol can begin.

Try to remember how you feel right now - unfortunately, the memory dims as we get sober. We need to remind ourselves of the hell we go through.
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Old 05-13-2013, 12:10 PM
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For me it got better , It takes time for your body to heal and we're all slightly different . I'd add to the call to go see a doctor as they can try and mitigate some of the bad .

I hope you stick with it ,

Bestwishes on Day 1 , M

just some useful linkys if you've not seen them
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
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Old 05-13-2013, 12:17 PM
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Even though I was drinking daily, I had no physical withdrawal when I stopped.
I guess that's the difference between beer and vodka.
I hope you feel better soon and don't do this to yourself again!
Stop it! Just stop it!
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Old 05-13-2013, 12:25 PM
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Day 2 is better. You have to get there first though. Prior to this binge you mentioned that you wanted to potentially do detox. Did you check into that? Sounds like you could probably use some assistance.

Regarding your current condition, i'd highly recommend medical assistance or at least someone to watch over you that can get you to the ER if necessary. Withdrawals get progressively worse each time, and you already have some very bad physical symptoms. Please be safe.
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Old 05-13-2013, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by DAB View Post
Even though I was drinking daily, I had no physical withdrawal when I stopped.
I guess that's the difference between beer and vodka.
I hope you feel better soon and don't do this to yourself again!
Stop it! Just stop it!
Beer can cause physical withdrawal just as easily as vodka, wine or whatever you consume. I drank nothing but beer and had some pretty hellacious symptoms myself.
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Old 05-13-2013, 02:56 PM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Beer can cause physical withdrawal just as easily as vodka, wine or whatever you consume. I drank nothing but beer and had some pretty hellacious symptoms myself.
Heck yes it can, I've had a few epic detoxes over the years and never drank anything but beer.
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Old 05-13-2013, 11:17 PM
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Originally Posted by TexasNative View Post
Heck yes it can, I've had a few epic detoxes over the years and never drank anything but beer.
Maybe I wasn't drinking enough then. I was consuming at least a six pack a night, more on weekends...
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Old 05-13-2013, 11:41 PM
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Originally Posted by DAB View Post
Maybe I wasn't drinking enough then. I was consuming at least a six pack a night, more on weekends...
Consider yourself lucky. Alcohol is alcohol in any shape, flavor or form. Sure it takes a little longer to get a 12 pack in your gut than 12 shots, but the end result is the same.
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Old 05-13-2013, 11:44 PM
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Welcome back NoExcuse.

Something obviously needs to change.
Have you got any plans?

D
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Old 05-13-2013, 11:49 PM
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Your screen name says it all! Why not wave the white flag & surrender to win?
If it means detox for 90 days in patient then do so but only you can make that decision
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Old 05-14-2013, 12:06 AM
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Originally Posted by DAB View Post
Maybe I wasn't drinking enough then. I was consuming at least a six pack a night, more on weekends...
I was doing two to three times that amount of beer
plus
a small handful of valium each day
withdrawals were not bad at all (went cold turkey)

maybe God's letting the suffering happen noexcuse
possibly his way of saying -- stop doing that !!

much suffering helps to get one to a nice solid bottom

possibly then we will not have to wonder about drinking again ??

may be a good thing ??
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Old 05-14-2013, 09:05 AM
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Day 2....better

Thank you for all the replies and support. I had a rough 29 hours, about. Felt quite a bit better for a couple hours last night but then back to the nausea. Fortunately, a good night of sleep has done wonders and I was able to get up, get the kids ready, take care of the dog, pack up everything and make it to work. I'm still a little shaky, but going for roughly 30 hours with little to no food or fluid is likely to do that to a person. My goal today is to drink plenty of water, get through the workday, and then spend some of that time with my kids that I missed out on on Mother's Day.

As for detox, my guess is that if I'm already feeling better (even the mild tremors in my hands are all gone), I'm not worried about suddenly starting to have seizures, and that was my main concern. Any other uncomfortable feelings are mine to own, and I'm not going to go to a doctor to get some other meds to make it easier on myself.

Rehab is still something that I would like to consider...but I have more than a little pushback from my husband. When I mentioned it this last time, his response was, "So, when are you planning on abandoning your family?" Every other response has been equally 'supportive.' He did say that we can make our house like a rehab - toss out any alcohol and go for 28 days without anything in the house. He seems to think that that's all rehab is, a place where you can dry out. His one quasi-valid point is that once you get out of rehab, your day 29 is the equivalent of another day 1 because now everything that you left behind is laid out in front of you again. We'll see.

I have to say, taking my license away for a month certainly didn't teach me any lessons about not drinking. All I did was overdue it ALL the time because I didn't have to worry about driving. Sick thinking - as if driving is my only responsibility. But I can definitely see my AV at work behind that thinking. Seriously messed up.

Looking forward to checking back in tomorrow. This is my support system for right now (hubby works nights, I can't drive, and two kids at home), but I think I'll be back at AA, or maybe I'll try another type of meeting, once I get my driving permit back this weekend. Hope everyone is having a good day!
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Old 05-15-2013, 08:44 AM
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Day 3

Yesterday I was the best mom that I could be. Set up the sprinkler for the kids, had them out front with their friends, made them dinner, read them stories, helped with homework, gave them a shower, and snuggled with them while we watched 'just one more show on tv.' Sipped water and finished a book and the rest of the second season of The Walking Dead. Odd how I can finally remember all the characters' names after two days of watching the show sober but couldn't during all of season 1 and the first 8 episodes of season 2. <sigh>

Today I have an appointment with my counselor. We've got a detailed action plan that we are going to start working through, and I'm looking forward to moving through - and getting over - some of the sludge in my head.

Day 3 is usually a struggle, as I'm usually starting to feel better (and forgetful). Thanks, but no thanks. It's nice to be tired from enjoying things instead of from being sick and hungover.
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Old 05-15-2013, 09:44 AM
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My Day 2 was nearly 24 yrs ago and I can't recollect it well.

The one thing I am thankful for is that AA has allowed me not to have to repeat it.

I know how you feel. I hated the feeling of no matter how hard I tried ... the worse it seemed to get.

I had to quit trying and surrender .. to embrace and commit to AA.

It worked for me.

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 05-15-2013, 09:53 AM
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Hi Noexcuse,

Glad your sticking at it, must feel great to have had that quality time with your kids and good luck with your counselling session.

One of the things I have done is blogged how I felt when drinking and my first few days of trying to detox. I'm usually forgetting how bad it was by around day 3 too... but now I can go back and read and remind myself anytime. Why not give that a try?

Take care
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Old 05-15-2013, 08:52 PM
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I don't know how I'm going to do this with my husband. He got laid off today and came home with a pint of Jäger. He's already half lit. I told him I just wanted some support, and he's now angry with me because I make all the calls and now that I've decided I can't do it, I won't let anyone else, either. I know I can't control him. It would just be a little easier if I had a shred of support. Or at least a husband that would stop swearing at me every time I told him how much pain I am in from the alcohol...
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Old 05-15-2013, 09:01 PM
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Stay strong. Keep your head up. I know these are cliches, but they became overused phrases for a reason. Find the strengths within yourself and utilize them. Find the resources within yourself, your healthy relationships, your community, and here. One of the hardest aspects of suffering is realizing that sometimes you're alone in doing it. Being on here means that you are trying not to suffer in silence. You want better. That's why you're here. The other hard part is not being able to reach other people. When it comes down to it, we're all responsible for our own actions and ours alone. Best wishes.

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