they may "date" other addicts but is it actually dating? maybe i am coming at this from a different angle but after thinking over who my ex was with before me it was nothing but more chaos, partying, immature behavior, break ups, make ups, same crowd just hanging around with each other all the time but nothing we would call meaningful dating. i mean, nothing really is meaningful to them but the next whatever it is they decide they want to do to party the night away or escape what we know is reality.
this is one of those red flags to pay attention to. when i inquired about the only two i knew of he dated over a couple of years i got the explanation "ohhhhhhh noooo i just dated them because it was never going to be serious and i didn't want anything serious then." WRONG. BULL. now i know but it took forever for me to get enough info on them to realize they were drug users as well and boozers too. makes complete sense now but then i've had plenty of time for things to come full circle somewhat.
IMO yes they want to be with those who do and accept what they do. the other side of them wants someone with stability, loyalty, security...kind of the opposites of what they will end up being or doing over time.
depends on who it is too. alot of variables play on to every situation BUT the common theme i've come across is this: nothing works long term for one reason or another. either the addict gets with an addict and they fall in a downward spiral together over time OR the addict gets with a nonaddict, changes up for as long as possible, things deteriorate, the non addict starts to flounder, problems keep coming up from the addiction and/or codependency cycle coming in to play and the relationship ends either because the codependent can't do it anymore or the addict just exits the scene because of denial or wishing to pursue what they actually love.
i've seen here where some people are able to work together and conquer it but it takes TWO to do it. others may choose to stay for other reasons. i only mentioned the two most common situations i have seen or read about.
others may want to chime in with a different opinion and there sure is plenty of wisdom here i do not have.
remember the old saying "birds of a feather flock together." silly sounding but when i sorted out who my ex was with the most often(not who he introduced me to all over the place or his family members or the business aquaintances)then i had my answer. there are situations where it's like a double life type scenario. mine was one of them. it makes it harder but in the end it is exactly the same results.
choose to be happy you are not "in it" anymore. be happy you are not an addict having to battle it. i'm not saying it in a demeaning way because i do feel what anyone would feel in this situation. it's sad. but it is not our battle. until they choose to conquer it then they will be where the drug(s) of choice is. it's what they do. remember that always. it's what they do.