ouch59...me too...and i don't know how right now, but am praying and saying to myself...i am going to take care of myself. i don't like the hopelessness and anger that is coming out of me right now. my third daughter (all three used drugs) is on heroin. hubby is a life long drinker, who is "not drinking"...wow...I don't say anything, but it sure looks like wine and coke he is drinking when we go out...yeah...i was less controlling last year...but down with depression. i need to take care of me...so one step at a time...but now he just keeps asking me how I am all the time...tone of voice...etc...and I know that the work I started 23 years ago and then each time a child went through drugs and him with his drinking and being unavailable...i am hoping not back at square one...but i feel trapped.