Just a few days
Hello All.
Since I was 15 I have used and abused alcohol and drugs of one sort or another. I have been an alcoholic and or an addict for all of my adult life. It has cost me so very much, as it does all of us. However, here at the age of 45, I find myself with nearly two weeks of clean time. I am so grateful .
Throughout the years it was always prescription opiates that I preferred and I found myself hopelessly and utterly addicted. You all know what it is like so I won't go into the specifics. I'm not even sure how many years ago it was that I finally had all I could take and entered a rehab. At the time I was only taking 21 or so a day, 7 10mg hydrocodone 3x a day. I went in for a six week rehab but walked out after only a week. I managed to stay off pills for 100 days, but continued to drink and smoke marijuana. On day 101 I said to myself, after many beers, that I will only get a few pills and take them and that will be it. Well, I did and it was. That was it. You know when you relapse you don't start over at the beginning, you just pickup where you left off and boy did I ever.
Fast forward to 45 or so 10mg hydro a day. A habit so large I could not possibly support it. Well, I ended up at a methadone clinic and have been on 110mgs, for the past six years or so, up until very recently. I had to get off the methadone on my own, best I could, and again I won't get into all that here. I did find a doctor willing to help me transition from the methadone to suboxone which I took for 8 days. I have not taken anything since April 30. I prayed and had faith in the Lord to help me and to heal me, I asked for a miracle and I believe I received one.
I know I have a long, long way to go. Some days are better than others. When I feel bad, for whatever reason, I really feel bad. Lots of times I feel like I could just break down and cry. I feel like I am in this all alone.