Welcome to SR, Gisele. You will find a lot of support here. We have a forum here for the friends and family of alcoholics. Here's a link...
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I NO LONGER have anymore tears but still care for him and at the same time can't help but to feel total resentment towards him. Likewise, I can't help but to go through a bucket full of emotions in one day.. mad, sad, feeling used, abused, taken advantage of, neglected, confused, etc.
Hon, allow yourself to feel these emotions. It is part of the normal process of healing. Your are mourning a relationship that has ended. Even though that relationship was toxic, you still had feelings for this man and will continue to feel sad that your dreams or plans aren't going to happen with him. It's okay. Allow yourself to go through the process. We'll be here to support you.
