Hi Cal, welcome to SR. You seem to be a very strong person and it seems you are doing everything you possibly can to help support your family and your husband, you should be commended. He doesn't see that now of course but hopefully he will some day as you say.
Your story is a good reminder to those of us who were ( or are ) in your husband's predicament the amount of harm we cause to those around us. I wish you the best and hope your husband finally makes the decision to pitch the booze for good. Because as you have figured out, only he can make that choice.