Thanks, Soberclover...
In celebration of two weeks of sobriety, I bought myself a brand new chainsaw! I've got some dead trees in the back yard that have to come down. I'd normally do it by hand (I'm pretty good at it), but one of the trees is *BIG*. Decided there ain't no way I'm gonna get all the way through it on my own steam. So in true guy fashion, I bought me a power tool and now I'm in a state of bliss!