here's a tip...when we get involved with someone, it's really more about US than it is about THEM. I like you because you do something FOR me...you meet some need in me, or represent some unmet need I am now trying once again to GET met (family of origin stuff), maybe you are exciting and dangerous and it thrills me, maybe you are stable and predictable and it calms me, maybe you are extremely good looking and I feel better about myself that you want to be with ME, maybe you are funny and I don't know how to laugh....almost immediately I stop seeing YOU for YOU but see you as what you can do for ME.
so the question isn't really why did they not think us good enough, but why did we think so little of ourselves. why can we not decide our own self worth but must give that power to someone else?