Thanks for your replies, means a lot. I'd like to point out that my daughter never sees me drunk. She is with her dad every two weeks and that is when i binge. The rest of the time I drink in moderation in a tumbler with ice and a straw, not a wine glass, how sad is that. I remember my dad being very drunk around me as a child and I wont do that to her. We live with my parents at the moment, so she is never at risk.
I want to try AA but there is only a meeting at the place I live once a month, i feel i need something every week. What other organisations could i go to?
Ive done awful things im ashamed of, just so sick of myself. Im also bipolar 2 which doesn't help as when i'm high i drink and drink and drink and feel great, when im down i drink and drink but it makes me feel ****, just enhances the mood i'm in.