Originally Posted by
lizatola 
I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that my AH and I will always have a relationship that will not have deep sharing of emotions, feelings, faith, etc. My AH had told me in marriage counseling that he shuts down or gets angry when I share deep stuff such as my pain, emotions, hurt, etc. Yet I didn't listen to him.
Liz, with all due respect, this above^^^ aside from the alcoholism and lies stuff, this above seems to be an unrealistic expectation from a man in my book.
I just don't think men need this from women, nor do they feel comfortable with it (and I am generalizing here, its not all men, its men in general). And its not that they don't have deep feelings, its just the expression and sharing part, the need for a deep emotional connection, is different for men than it is for women.
Again, another generalization, but men connect in ways that are more physical. And yes, I do mean sex here, but also in affection and action and such.
Think about it - or even watch young kids playing. The boys are physical, the girls are conversing and bonding, usually in groups. Young boys who like girls will be physical with them; pushing, teasing, maybe even playfully hitting.
Men have been providers since the dawn of time. Women are the nurturers. Action vs. emotion. Men are hardwired to notice things in order to be a provider (action), while women are hardwired to be intuitive (to take care of children). Men are hardwired to procreate as much as possible (spread the DNA, so to speak) while women's natural instincts are to bond with their mates to ensure the successful rearing of the offspring. See where I am going with this? None of this is bad - it just is. We can fight it, or we can accept that much of this is simply biology of human beings and find ways to make it work for us in the 21st century.
Going to the hardware store for bread can also mean women expecting to get the emotional support from men like they do from other women. I go to men for "kick in the pants" advice only. I seek the deeper mulling and sharing from my girlfriends.