Hi Effie, and welcome! I'm so sorry you're going through all of this right now. I feel your pain. At the end of last year, during my heaviest drinking period, I looked around me and realized that my life was a smoldering ruins. Friends were sick of me, my family was disappointed in me, people at my job were beginning to question me. Worst of all, I had to live with me. When I got sober long enough to actually recognize what I had done, to whom, and for how long, it was enough to make me physically ill---and of course start drinking again.
I am only three months sober at this point but I can tell you what helped me. First, you must begin from RIGHT NOW. By this I mean if you are really and truly ready to stop, you must look at this day (or whatever day) as ground zero. If you spend all or even part of your time looking in the past you will not get better. It will be another reason to drink, Second, it is much easier if you have some outside support. It is very hard to do this on your own as you've probably discovered. I use AA but there are tons of other avenues of support. Beyond giving you practical guidance on how to get sober, it is also going to put you around others who have been exactly where you are (or worse) and will never judge you. This site is a step in that direction but having other support is critical, too. At least it was for me. Third, and this might not be what you want to hear, you must be willing to get sober for yourself. The fact that this new guy is inspiring you to take steps in that direction is awesome. But you need to do it for YOU. I know everyone says that and it sounds like a bunch of junk but it is true. I tried to get sober for my ex, my mom, my best friend...hell, even my dog. None of it worked. All it did, eventually, is turn me into a drunk who hid my drinking. That's why they often call it "rock bottom," because it is usually there that you find no other people or things to get sober "for." But you can stop ahead of that point. Getting into a new relationship might be good or it might be stressful at the same time as quitting drinking---but the important part is that you are doing this for yourself or it likely will not stick.
What I have learned from the very wise people here and AA is that it is never, ever too late. Yes, you're going to have to potentially deal with some stuff down the road but the important thing right now is to get on the road. Really. You WILL find help along the way. And, if you're committed, it will get much, much easier and better.
Welcome again, you will find so much support and advice here.