Ohh man, tonight's been really rough. I actually gave a second thought to having a drink, but there is no way in heck I'm breaking it after my eyes have been opened this far, especially not on day 29! I can't disappoint, I have to pick up my chip on Monday.
More feeling small and unimportant because of my husband ignoring me and disregarding my thoughts and feelings. I think that may be the worst trigger that I have. So far, I have survived it twice and I am trying to set my fears aside and be open, assertive, and honest at whatever cost because my sobriety comes first. 10 years of tangled hurtful mess from this relationship. I feel so exhausted because I got an overwhelming glance at just what a stunted overemotional mess my head is and broke down into a fit of tears. My head is pounding.
I walked to the store to get some Tylenol and the neighborhood is in FULL FORCE tonight. Gigantic party at the pool, tons of people out on their porches drinking and smoking, people buying booze upon booze at the drug store... Annoying.
On top of that, my brother has picked up smoking pot constantly throughout the day on top of his drinking. Ughh... I don't think he realizes it, but the entire living room smells like booze just from his breath.
Feel like waving a white flag around. I've had enough.