Just let it all out, it's so therapeutic . Even if u let it all out just to re read what you wrote. It helps seeing all the chaos written out infront of you. The first step is wanting to better yourself and your life. Although u might have bumps along the way, it's great that ur hear and trying to better your future. everyone here had similar stories that we can relate to. So even if ur not ready to post, just keep reading . Welcome to sr!