Your situation sounds similar to mine when I quit drinking ten days ago. My life was not out of control, but I was in the danger zone of drinking more than 7 glasses a week ( limit for women) and sometimes drinking the whole bottle of wine in a night. It was taking a toll on me physically.
The hard part for me was admitting to myself that I couldn't control my drinking. I would mean to stop at 2 glasses, and sometimes I would, but over time more and more I would not.
Reading this forum and recently meeting a person further down the road to ruining her health convinced me to stop right now. And I mean stop...forever...no trying to control it down the road. There is no reason for me to think that I am special...no magical abilities here.
I knew why I was drinking, but it was some time before I became willing to take the hard road to dealing with my problems.