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Old 05-10-2013, 08:55 AM
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Advice Please

Hi,

As I am posting here you will realise that I think I may have a problem with alcohol. I drink moost days, only in the evening, never during the day, and if we go out for a meal and I drive I don't touch a drop, the challange is, when I do have a drink its difficult to stop, if I don't start I am fine, I can go for extended periods without a drink, so long as I am occupied, if I am bored, thats it, I open a bottle of wine. Having said that I will normally stop after one bottle. This is normally caused by me going to bed.

The other thing I don't like is waking up at 0300 every morning like clockwork, if I don't have a drink for a few days that doesnt happen. And my memory, wow I forget peoples names within seconds of being told them, but I can remember everything about work, how stupid is that.

So on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad am I really? I waiver between thinking I have a real problem to thinking well as I can stay off it things cannot be that bad.

Thanks for reading, and any positive advise given.

Dwain
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Old 05-10-2013, 09:10 AM
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Welcome to SR.

I didn't think I had a problem and thus, drank for 35 years. It progressed, like most addictions do. I had a problem and I was in denial about it a long time.

Originally Posted by Dwaind View Post
I waiver between thinking I have a real problem to thinking well as I can stay off it things cannot be that bad.
Staying off alcohol for a couple days isn't proof you don't have a problem. Can you go a year without drinking? Why not try it. There is a lot to be learned in the struggle.
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Old 05-10-2013, 09:10 AM
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Hello. Thanks for posting. What if you stopped for a period of 90 days? See where that may get you. Look for the comfort or discomfort with the abstinence. If you are uncomfortable and having a hard time with the commitment. You may want to think about what alcohol is to you, and whether or not you have a problem. This is a wonderful place for support.
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Old 05-10-2013, 09:39 AM
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I could always quit ... I just couldn't stay quit.

Then I realized I didn't know how to live after I quit so I got drunk again.

AA got me quit and keeps me quit. AA also allows me to live sober in my own skin.

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 05-10-2013, 09:55 AM
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Hi, Dwaind. Welcome to SR.

Originally Posted by Dwaind View Post
Hi,

...only in the evening, never during the day, and if we go out for a meal and I drive I don't touch a drop, the challange is, when I do have a drink its difficult to stop, if I don't start I am fine, I can go for extended periods without a drink, so long as I am occupied, if I am bored, thats it, I open a bottle of wine. Having said that I will normally stop after one bottle.
This is pretty much similar to the pattern I used to follow.

Now, looking back at myself a half a year ago I realize I did have a problem.

This mask of addiction maybe not that pronounced as in case of daily drinkers, but it's still slippery slope. It's kind of illusion of control. Addiction plays a tricky game with us.

My advice is - stop this game, there's no use gambling health and life.

Best wishes to you. It's a great place of support to give a try and maintain your sobriety. And it's definitely worth trying and keeping.

Take care, keep posting.
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Old 05-10-2013, 09:56 AM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
Welcome to SR.

I didn't think I had a problem and thus, drank for 35 years. It progressed, like most addictions do. I had a problem and I was in denial about it a long time.



Staying off alcohol for a couple days isn't proof you don't have a problem. Can you go a year without drinking? Why not try it. There is a lot to be learned in the struggle.
I agree. Many binge drinkers can go days or even weeks between binges. That doesn't mean there isn't a problem. Try stopping for a year, as Carl suggested. That ought to tell you if there's a problem or not.
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Old 05-10-2013, 10:11 AM
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Hi Dwain,
Welcome to SR.

For me, I had to step back and look at myself like an outsider and re read my first postings like I was reading what someone else said. I replaced my drug of choice...alcohol...with someone else's...one i had no experience with and then said what would I tell a friend who just asked me that question. I came up with my own answer.

Whatever you come up with, you probably already know deep down in your own heart. I know I did. I did know, for me, it probably wasn't going to improve as time went on no matter what I decided.

Everybody deserves better than it's bad or it's not that bad.

I found all the people on SR to be very helpful and understanding. I hope you find what you need too.
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Old 05-10-2013, 03:12 PM
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Welcome Dwain - it's great to have you with us.

I once drank the same way you are. Many years later I was drinking every day and had no control. I never thought it could happen to me. I think you're wise to be taking a hard look at what your drinking habits are doing to you. The fact that you have difficulty stopping once you start is a problem. Glad you are here to talk about it!
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Old 05-10-2013, 03:15 PM
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Hi and welcome

Only you can give yourself that number from one to ten....but the fact you're worried enough to join here is pretty significant I think.

For years I was a binge drinker - I rationalised that because I could stop I was ok...but I could never stop completely....

maybe the suggestion to stop for a while and see how you feel is the way to go?

D
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Old 05-10-2013, 03:24 PM
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Welcome Dwain,

If you decide you want to stop drinking, we are here to offer support.
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Old 05-10-2013, 03:32 PM
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Your situation sounds similar to mine when I quit drinking ten days ago. My life was not out of control, but I was in the danger zone of drinking more than 7 glasses a week ( limit for women) and sometimes drinking the whole bottle of wine in a night. It was taking a toll on me physically.

The hard part for me was admitting to myself that I couldn't control my drinking. I would mean to stop at 2 glasses, and sometimes I would, but over time more and more I would not.

Reading this forum and recently meeting a person further down the road to ruining her health convinced me to stop right now. And I mean stop...forever...no trying to control it down the road. There is no reason for me to think that I am special...no magical abilities here.

I knew why I was drinking, but it was some time before I became willing to take the hard road to dealing with my problems.
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