Everything you mention we have all been through. It get's better. Have you been to rehab ( a clinic)? If not, I suggest you enter one. While in there make arrangments to attend meetings when you get out. It is almost impossible to break free of our addictions on our own. Attend as many meetings as you can in the beginning. The first few months are the worst, but it get's better.
Recovery can be hard at first. But to break the chains of your addiction you need to work it. Go into rehab, then attend meetings, surround yourself with support groups and say NO to your addiction everyday until it get's better. Stay away from old friends that you once used with!! Stay away from places that you once went to!! Your life and your health depends on all of this. Good luck to you.