Thanks ladies the one thing info need I say I alcohol was not my issue my doc was cocaine and then crack... I use to be a drinker but I got scared when I was blacking out so I don't drink often and when I do it's not a lot bc I don't like losing control... But the other was something I loved.... But not more than my life my daughter and husband. Agreeing to not speak to my best friend of 17yrs was the hardest decision I agreed too. I still talk to her older sister who keeps me updated and will keep me in check... She's always been a big sister to me too. I try to keep my distance though too bc I'm afraid of what she might tell me. But she knows to call if the inevitable occurred. But for now I will take care I myself and my family and try to right some of my wrong