Missing my friend...

Old 05-09-2013, 11:05 PM
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Missing my friend...

The day I was given the get sober ultimatum which I took of course because my daughter and my husband and the rest of my family mean everything to me. I was told I needed to break all contact with my best friend of 17 years, it wasn't easy to agree but I did knowing that we as her sister who's a social worker puts it are toxic for one another. It wasn't always that way not until about 2 years ago when it seemed like the only thing we did when we hung was drugs. So I didn't say goodbye I changed my number deleted my email and deactivated my Facebook all in one fail swoop but god knows I looked back as I did it.... I know she won't understand she'll blame my husband and tell me i Need to leave him ... Can he be an ass absolutely but I can be ten times worse to live with... But really I'm missing my daily phone calls to her I hate not being able to check on her she's unstable at times and has a drug addiction as well so I like to make sure she's okay. I miss her but I can't go back I know I can't it's not a good choice at this time
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Old 05-09-2013, 11:35 PM
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Crazy Cat Lady
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It's hard to leave a friend who's toxic to you and your sobriety. It can leave you with a big hole in your life. Considering that you're dropping alcohol, another big hole is one of the last things you need. You feel isolated and alone and that's dangerous. When i stopped drinking, i was already isolated. Suddenly, i felt that isolation a hundred times more because i wasn't drinking myself into oblivion. What's helped me is going to AA meetings and meeting women in recovery. I found a female sponsor and made sobriety sisters. You kinda have to work at it to be alone in AA. If you put the slightest effort into it, you'll find yourself with more friends then you know what to do with. There's going out for dinner, coffee or (my group's favorite) frozen yogurt after meetingsl. You'll have people to call when you need a friendly voice. Being friends with people in recovery isn't hard and you'll often find that they're the best people to talk to you when you need a friendly ear and solid advice. Reaching out and making new friends is hard. It's been hard for me. But it really takes a small effort to connect with other women in sobriety. Taking that step to call someone isn't easy. It's like going to your first meeting. Your alcoholic voice is screaming at you to keep doing what you've always done. It likes a still suffering alcoholic life. It's up to you to take that very hard first step into the world of sober relationships. Just know that if you reach out, you will find the hand of recovery reaching back. Pray for your friend but don't be held back by the bonds of an alcoholic relationship.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:22 AM
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bona fido dog-lover
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That must have been a hard decision to make. But you've got to put your sobriety first. I wish you the best.
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Old 05-10-2013, 01:42 AM
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Thanks ladies the one thing info need I say I alcohol was not my issue my doc was cocaine and then crack... I use to be a drinker but I got scared when I was blacking out so I don't drink often and when I do it's not a lot bc I don't like losing control... But the other was something I loved.... But not more than my life my daughter and husband. Agreeing to not speak to my best friend of 17yrs was the hardest decision I agreed too. I still talk to her older sister who keeps me updated and will keep me in check... She's always been a big sister to me too. I try to keep my distance though too bc I'm afraid of what she might tell me. But she knows to call if the inevitable occurred. But for now I will take care I myself and my family and try to right some of my wrong
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