Be patient Sassy, you've had some big stuff going on. Take good care of yourself my friend xxx
Ok, I need to get this down on the page. My AV or whatever you want to call it has been whispering to me...hey, you've nearly done a year, that proves you weren't really an alcoholic at all, you have no cravings, you cope with stress without a drink, no need for total abstinence now, about time you dropped that ridiculous AA and spent more time at home, you don't need to concentrate or spend so much time on recovery.
I have to say I've no intention of having a drink. I'm not in danger, but it's there, sort of niggling. I AM sort of fed up with working at recovery, I don't really want to continue with my meetings, I do want a 'normal' life. I did sleep when I was drinking and the insomnia has never gone away and I'm fed up with the early hour upset. I'm tired of putting in all this effort I guess.
I think if I tell my sponsor, she will just tell me to step up my meetings, and I want to quit them altogether so I'm not telling her.
I'm not going to drink. No worries. I'm just aware that my need to sleep is now becoming overwhelming and drinking was always my solution.
I just need to write this down to see in black and white how ridiculous it is.....