onipar
i did not know 1/100th of what my ex meant when he said things in the beginning. i thought logically and came up with answers not even close! he knew what he meant because he had done it all before, been through it all before, seen what happened before and watch intimate relationships fall apart before.
he didn't walk up to me when we met and say "i'm an alcoholic, i'm on weed, opiates and coke at any given time, or a combo of all, i'm not going to make a good partner for you, i am going to break your heart and basically put you in a place you have never been before which is close enough to hell you won't know the difference."
NO! it took months and months and months of all these things you have now experienced PLUS other things before i felt so bad but could not figure out what was happening to me. it was slow, slow, slow to come to me. people here will tell you similar things. it is common. it's what they do.
AND if i ever said "OH i thought you meant ....not...." he would look at me and say something like "why would you think that?" or "huh? i can't remember what i said to ever make you think one way or another."
OUR brain does not do what theirs does at all. Period. Our hearts are different, too. Be thankful we have them. It may hurt but at least we FEEL in realtime--no substances--no nothing. we can have true happiness and joy. this is something they can not do because they think it's in a substance. it isn't. but we can not tell them. or show them.
save yourself.
prayers