he was on a sleepin pill and an anti anxiety pill and two other things, i read the pamphlet for the anxiety one when i got it and it was for bipolar or anxiety.
thats what he hadnt taken in two days
this other medicine the dr gave him yesterday is buproprion??
and he said the dr says he has a.d.d.
i said are you sure its not bipolar and you just dont want to say?
honestly he has been a total ******* the past couple years
and i can TOTALLY relate to your beach story or wanting to fight no matter who is around.
its like we dont really have any good memories together.
even if we are going somewhere thats supposed to be fun, he may not fight with me there (if its my family he doesnt really start his drama) but you better be sure that on the way there and on the way back home is going to be pure hell.
i have to be honest with myself....
i am just not attracted to him anymore.
crack has done a number on him he is gaining weight again, but his teeth are disgusting and it is a big turn off. like who the hell wants to kiss anyone in the mouth looking llike that. and his personality and attitude really suck'
i am not a vain person i never really cared about looks im just disgusted with him and all he wants is love attention and affection as soon as i walk through the door whether hes bitching at me or not.
so hes not getting what he wants and he gets psychotic
and im not getting what i want a little peace and quiet and a little less demand .
that incident i started the thread with ( when he would not let me leave for work and took the van key....)
all he wanted was a hug and a kiss and it ended withhim screaming thats what he wanted and i gave it to him but its insane.
and ohhhhh my goodness. the medicine the doctor started him on yesterday, they told him his sex drive would go sky high with this.
i said great you hardly get it now, so whats going to happen?
really he may say he wantss it but i dont give it to him. maybe once or twice a month hes gotten it... because im not attracted to him and his nasty attitude.
so he can demand this and that but i dont give in, i have to feel like i want to do something or im not doing it. bottom line.
i am getting stronger at a lot of things in my life.
and i want to keep getting stronger and finding ME
and not be afraid to succeed or to do it alone.
im getting there.
baby steps., because this life is not normal
and i know it
just need the courage and strength to get to where i want to be
with God in my heart I have faith I am exactly where I need to be and will end up exactly where I am meant to be