New
Did you finally kill my love
I met him 4 years ago. He told me he was an alcoholic, rascal, romantic, good father, among other things, we married and had a beautiful daughter, he hid his drinking for a while, blamed mood swings on work, stress, economy, politics, me. When I realized he was drinking I hoped, not knowing what alcohol does to an alcoholic, he would stop. I even tried to be FUN, and drink with him, but he's not nice, or wasn't when he drank with me. He would want to discuss business and infer that I was a dumb redneck from Alabama who didn't know what business was! Then, when I asked, cried, begged him to just stop, he started picking me apart, putting me down about weight, ( I'd just had a baby,) told me the reason he liked strippers is they know how to **** and that I didn't. He did quit for awhile afterward to be a dry drunk. Then back at it. He never stayed away from home and was always sorry the next day, until last summer. He just decided i needed to face i was married to a drunk and he gives us a great life, SO WHAT! his words! He started rehab last summer after putting a chair through a glass door after i locked him out. We had been to dinner with his business partner and they got totally drunk and he started calling me the vilest things because I whispered enough. 28 days of rehab I was so excited. He was coming home and he was CURED! 30 days later he was drunk again, he didn't even bother coming home this time, stayed at a hotel, for the next 6 months he spent maybe 2 months home, constantly apologetic, back attending meetings, then no show, drunk, blah, blah, blah. Then I kicked him out in Febuary. He was flip flipping from trying to destroy me with mental and financial abuse, even telling my 17 year old daughter i was a ***** to begging me not to leave him please help him get better. I discovered he had been going to strip clubs, using cocaine and hanging out with a disgusting 21 year old bartender at the strip club. He finally surrendered to going to rehab, ( did I mention he paid for yet left 2 different detox centers during Febuary) in March. 38 days later his mother picked him up, I was talking to him daily and he told me he was staying until I was ready for him to come home. So he's back home staying with mom and breaks me down with " I found my faith" that's what was missing the last time. I let him come home. 6 days later he leaves. Yep. Drunk again. I thought my love would overcome. Last week, was yet another new experience, picking him up in a hotel room with blister on his lips, knowing he had spent weekend with strippers, over- dosed in a hospitaL room , yet still used for another day then calling me to come get him. There was apart of me that hated him, another that loved and wanted to save him. losing hope of ever salvaging our marriage. My question now is this: I'm supposed to go to counseling at rehab and then eventually we are counseled together. He is scheduled to stay 90 days at least! What happens when he gets out? Even if my heart softens I've read they recommend living apart and him showing genuine remorse as well as positive sober choices before we attempt living together. Please tell me what to expect.