Originally Posted by
fallgirl613 
My husband, my soulmate is cheating on me. We vowed never to do this ever in our lives. Tell me how I'm not supposed to drink because he means everything to me. I already drank a bottle of wine and I could clearly give a f*ck. I'm heartbroken, lonely, sad beyond words. Alcohol has given me the warm feeling I've been wanting tonight. Ugh!! I hate this. I don't know what to do.
Hi fallgirl.
I read this a few days back, and I couldn't respond at the time, probably because it hit too close to home for me, and some of my feelings are still very raw. Your post has really been on my mind though, and I've felt compelled to say something. You are not alone, and I hope that you don't choose to follow the path that I did.
I've experienced a very similar situation. It happened nearly two years ago. I was already slipping the slope from casual to binge drinking when I discovered that my husband of 18 years was engaged in an extra-marital relationship. How did I deal with it? I drank. A lot. For two years, I drank, I cried, I argued, I destroyed my health, strained my friendships, isolated, and let life in general completely fall apart. I even found myself in some legal trouble, which is totally foreign to my being. I checked out completely, while blaming my husband's affair for every malady in my life.
What my husband did (and yours as well) was terrible and inexcusable. My way of dealing with it was not what I would recommend. A few months back I literally found that every time that I looked in the mirror, I said or thought, "I hate you" to myself. I was disgusted with who I had turned into, and decided to make a change, and that started with giving up my affair with alcohol. It is only 3 months later, but so much has changed for me, and I have learned some very valuable lessons.
The lessons that I learned in regards to my husbands affair are numerous, but one stands out that I want to share with you. The drinking helps nothing. Simple, but true. Two years of heavy drinking got me right back to square one when I quit. The feelings and emotions that need to be dealt with can not be addressed when we are actively using. So here I am, two years later, and I am only now really dealing with the problems that led to his affair, and the problems that resulted from it. I can truly say that I wish that I would have quit drinking two years ago. I can't say that I would be completely healed from the affair today, as I have no way of knowing that, but I can say that if I had applied the progress that I've made in the past three months to the past two years, I could have saved myself much of the distress and turmoil that I created by drinking.
Sorry this is so long. I tried to shorten it up a bit, but it still came out kind of lengthy. If you ever want to talk, PM me. I wish you the best, as I know how very hard this is. My heart is with you.
MV