fallgirl613

My husband, my soulmate is cheating on me. We vowed never to do this ever in our lives. Tell me how I'm not supposed to drink because he means everything to me. I already drank a bottle of wine and I could clearly give a f*ck. I'm heartbroken, lonely, sad beyond words. Alcohol has given me the warm feeling I've been wanting tonight. Ugh!! I hate this. I don't know what to do.

SavingSelf

I am so sorry. But for me I know that drinking never made any problem better. Life happens-and I have to be sober for it. You can make that choice too.

Again, sorry you are going through this.

suki44883

Drinking won't change the fact that he cheated on you. It may give you a warm feeling for a few hours, but tomorrow, the cheating will still be staring you in the face and you'll feel like hammered sh*t, too.

I'm sorry you are dealing with a cheating husband, but drinking doesn't hurt him, it only hurts you.

AnotherPaul

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Drinking won't make this go away. You know that. It might numb you for a few hours or make you pass out, but the thing that's breaking your heart will still be there tomorrow. The best thing you can do for yourself is to stop drinking now so that you can face it with a clear mind. No matter how much it hurts, you need all of your faculties so you can process this, grieve over it, and then move on from it. Making yourself numb will only delay the inevitable and harm you even more in the meantime.

I've been cheated on by a woman I deeply loved. I know how it feels. Trust me, drinking myself stupid over it didn't help one inch. It made it worse.

Hang in there.

deeker

I am sorry for your pain but if you already are drinking not much we can say to help you tonight. Come back tomorrow before you pick up. Your desire to stay sober has to be stronger than your desire to drink.

Sudz No More

Please don't hurt yourself by drinking because someone else hurt you. Seeing you drunk will only affirm to him why he shouldn't feel guilty for this. As long as you paint yourself as the guilty party by having "the problem" he will feed into that.

Sorry you are hurting over this but you've got to be strong for yourself and not spiral down. What's done is done for tonight but you can always plan a new route for tomorrow. You matter and don't forget it.

babycat

Oh, girl, I am sooo sorry you are dealing with this **** right now. I know it has been tough for you in general lately as it is.
Try to get to sleep early and no more booze so you can wake up with as clear a head as possible and then you can face it and begin to deal with it. So crappy, I know but it has to be done and sooner is better than later.
PM me if you wanna talk. Hugs.

deeker

There will always be a reason to drink again fallgirl. The question is do you really want to stop . If you do want to stop you must have no reservations whatsoever. People are gonna die, People are gonna let us down, People are NOT gonna live up to our expectations. So are you gonna get drunk and set yourself up for another spree each time..

From my perspective you want to justify your drinking. And you want others to co sign your BS. Either you want to stop or you don't. Which is it? If you want to stop then come in SR before you put the drink to your lips not after when you're all buzzed out and crying in your wine. How can anyone help you then? I don't think you are ready and will find any excuse to keep drinking. Prove me wrong!

People co signing my BS did not get me sober, I had to hear the cold hard truth. And it saved my life.

In light of the consequences my drinking and drugging brought me there is not an excuse good enough to ever drink again. Maybe you are not ready.

Impurrfect

Well, think about it. What will drinking change? Yes, it will make you "numb" for a little bit, but then what? Reality will hit you again and you will either deal with it or drink. If you drink, the same thing will come up again, and again, and again. You will be drinking to numb reality.

I've been there, done that, got t-shirts in a rainbow of colors. I finally realized that hurting ME (by drinking or using) didn't do anything for me. I got tired of it and finally got clean/sober and then I got to deal with all I had numbed in the past.

I spent a few decades drinking/using AT someone. The only person it hurt was me. Just my 2 cents.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

deeker

If that was a little harsh I am sorry but you don't want to stay out there for 37 years and go through the consequences some of us went through.

Wanderlove

I am so very sorry. I understand your need to feel numb instead of heartbroken but if you take up drinking during this time it is likely to escalate quickly. You worked too hard to be sober. It would be letting him "win" twice. Hugs.

raku

To "find out" that your husband is "cheating" on you probably had indications beforehand...eye ?
Having a bottle of wine will help you in the short run...pretty sure you know that already. No advise could help at this point. You need, and will, find a way to cope with your awareness of breakage of trust. You can send a personal message to me !

raku

ClearLight

fallgirl -

You shouldn't drink now cause it will hurt you.

It will make you feel even worse than you do right now.

I'm sorry you were hurt by your husbands behavior. We want you to feel better!

Thereunconfined

Drinking is probably going to make you feel a lot worse.

It won't change anything.

Not only will he have hurt you, but you won't be respecting yourself.

You might do something dangerous.

A relapse will only make it harder to figure out what you need to do in this situation.

Your body needs rest, not additional damage.

Alcohol solves nothing.

raku

fall girl,
how are you today? I hope a bit better !

Klp9999

Fall girl, I hope u didn't drink. A sober mind will help you get through this. A sober mind will make intelligent decisions. Hugs

Grymt

I took the road of drinking. After a bender I had lost a precious part of me. Caring about trust. Not only was I sicker in body and spirit but I'd managed to lose so much except for some goodwill for past actions, plus material goods. Much of my life has been trying to deal with what I didn't deal with then. >She did it once to me and I went ahead and did it a thousandfold to myself<. I plead insanity.

Anyway, the point is, don't ruin your life.
There are alternatives.

WritingFromLife

Someone here on these forums said it well...don't turn one problem into two. Alcohol will actually PROLONG the pain you must go through--and that pain sucks, I know. But you WILL get through it and come out on the other side if you don't drink. Big Big Hugs.

Che

I think you need to answer that question for yourself. You won't believe it unless you've thought seriously about it yourself.

They say if you embark on a quest of revenge, you dig two graves. The cycle of unhappiness in such a situation is unending. You wrong him and other people in your life by drinking so much. He wrongs you by cheating. You wrong him again by drinking. These are things I suggest you think about on your own.

An entire bottle of wine could only ever make you sick.

Dee74

how are you doing fallgirl?

D