Thank you both for the understanding comments. You're both, of course, right. I am so, so glad I found this site, and so appreciative of the support and information you've given me. This is a struggle, and not one I'm sure I know "exactly" how to deal with yet.
I guess that's normal. I know part of it is fear and unwillingness to let go, but there is also a large part of me that just wants to do this "the right way," and for that, i need to read more, and attend some meetings, etc.
My worst fear is that if I end things and/or tell her to get help in the "wrong way," she might take it out on herself in a physical way.