From reading your post I can tell you that there were MANY red flags.
The situation seems extremely abusive and you do not deserve that. He cannot demand sex and then throw a hissy fit because he doesn't like the way you are going about it. That is insane and the fact that at times you fear that he will run you over and that he drives so crazy that you fear for you life when you are in the car with him sounds like active using to me. And if he is sober, that is almost even more scary.
Nobody has the right to demand sex, make you fear for your safety, prevent you from getting to work on time, talk down to you, think that they are so much better than you that you should read their mind and do exactly what they wan that second or they have the right to yell, tell you that you do things wrong, etc.
You aren't happy because you know that he is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and you know that he does not treat you right. In fact, it goes beyond not treating you right, it is abuse.
I think it is time to start thinking about what you want the future to look like for you and your children and then decide what steps you need to take to get there and then go from there. If you think he is driving you crazy now, imagine another 5 years, 10 years, 20 years etc. The abuse will only get worse, and he will not change.