onipar

Hello, everyone. This is my first post here. I have struggled with these issues in my own head for so long, I finally decided I need to talk to someone about it.

A little background first: My GF recently moved in with me (about 3-4 months ago), after having not seen her for nearly two years. During those two years, we had been broken up of course.

She has a history with suicide, depression, anxiety, and addiction/recreational use of pretty much all hard drugs. She has also admitted to having been addicted to alcohol for a period of time this past year, before moving in with me.

She was in a very bad place, and I love her, so I told her to come stay with me so she could try and get her feet back on the ground. We are dating again now, and things are mostly good. She doesn't use any drugs currently, she's on three medications (antidepressants), and she just got a full time job a couple weeks ago.

However, since she's been here there have been a number a "warning signs" that made me think she might still have an alcohol problem. I won't go into all of it, because this would be a very long post, but I will mention the most recent events.

About a week ago, my GF wanted to get some alcohol. Now, even though I have noted possible warning signs, it had been about a week since she had anything, and before that, her drinking had been pretty spread out, so I said okay.

She bought a 750ml bottle of tequila. She drank half that night, and half the next night. The day after that, she wanted to get a six pack to share with dinner. We got it, and she only had one and a half. The day after that, she bought a bottle of wine, drank the entire thing plus another beer.

At this point, I was starting to worry, but it got worse.

The day after that, we went out for what i thought was a short trip to get bagels and water. When I turned left instead of right, she became concerned and said "where are you going!?"

Turns out, she expected me to go to a different store, where a liquor store is located. She said "I didn't want to tell you earlier because I didn't want there to be 'a discussion' about it. I just wanted to get a bottle of something without having to talk about it." (This is because I had brought up her drinking a couple times before this).

She seemed agitated, and I said, "Well, we can hit a store up this way."

Everything was fine until I stopped for the bagels first. She got an edge to her voice and said, "I thought we were going to the liquor store?"

I said "we are."

She replied, "Well, they close in like 15 minutes."

I hadn't realized it was Sunday and they close early on Sundays here. I told her as much, and she became more an more frustrated, leading up to getting to the liquor store too late, and her saying, "Whatever. Let's just go home and I'll go to sleep."

We ended up going to a Red Robin where she had three doubles.

The next night she drank my three beers from days before (that I had never drank).

The day after she bought another bottle of tequila. This time, she drank half the bottle. Went to sleep in a very bad mood. Woke at 5 am, left the room, and stayed up till 7am drinking almost the rest of the bottle.

She had work at 8. She was still finishing a drink minutes before I left to drop her at work.

Okay. So at this point I was more than worried. This was not a good week, and I sat down with her to talk to her about it. I explained to her that one of the major reasons I wanted her to move in was so we could work towards getting her back on her feet, and that I was worried that I had been too weak by letting her drink so much and so often. I told her it couldn't be good for her liver on top of the other medications, and that we should "pump the brakes and maybe limit her drinking to just once or twice a week."

She listened calmly and agreed. I thought that was good.

But then today she wanted me to drop her at work early. I did, figuring she wanted to grab some breakfast at dunkin donuts. I proceeded to my place of workwhich is right down the street, picked up some essays that needed grading, then headed back home.

I spotted her walking out of the shopping complex where the liquor store is located. I stopped and parked, then went over to her. I didn't see a bottle, though I have a weird feeling she may have had one in her purse. She said she went to the CVS for cigarettes.

I wasn't sure if she bought a bottle or not, and I didn't want to accuse her of anything, so I left it at that, said I loved her, and went home.

SO that's where I am now. Worried that she has started to lie to me and hide things from me. Worried she has an alcohol problem. Worried that I'm an awful boyfriend and of absolutely NO help to her recovery because I've been weak, and let her do what she wants.

I don't know how to proceed or what to do. Do I ask her if she bought alcohol behind my back? Do I confront her yet again about this without knowing for sure? Or do I just wait and see if something happens?

It's hard enough with her other suicidal/depression problems, but adding this on top has gotten me so stressed and sad and worried.

I don't know what to do.

Thank you so much for listening.