i think going to alanon tonight will help me, alot...
i also think that leaving would help too, thought about it many times,
ttthat doesnt solve all the problems though.
he is a father to 3 kids and i dont like decisions he makes when i AM HERE
so i dont know what kind of decisions he will be making when i am NOT HERE
i know im not the only one with this dilemma but it helps to get it out