Welcome to this board. We can all understand your pain - but everyone's experience and pain is different. But at least on SR you can share your pain and experience - and hopefully find some comfort that you are not alone - on this journey. Probably the toughest path any of us could 'voluntarily' chose - the path of loving an addict.
Zoso put it so well.... that a 'warm, loving' person would not hurt somebody like your wife has hurt you. But here is the tough part - we so often make excuses - and blame it on the drugs. On the high. Yes, I know, it is the drugs that change the person. INITIALLY. But eventually, if the addict does not seek long term recovery - they truly do become that 'other' person. When after a time - you will only ever have vague offerings of someone you once loved.
I don't know how long your wife has been an addict for - so impossible to 'predict' the outcome. Does she seek recovery?
You must have a thousand emotions whirring through your mind. And this is the craziness of loving an addict. All your emotional, spiritual time is spent dwelling on them - wondering 'what if'?? Wondering 'is that really her'?? Wondering 'does she really love me'??
The ONLY thing you can do right now - the ONLY thing - is pray. Trust in Christ. But remember Christ's plans for us are not always what we want. And Christ's time line is not always what we plan. But HE is the healer - and HE will hold you in his arms. Christ loves you enough to conquer anything. But whilst you remember this - and pray - you need to LET GO of your wife. God willing not forever. God willing she heals. But for now - you need to let go. You need to focus on YOU. YOU need to heal. You need to focus on your life - and the precious gifts God has given you. Christ does not intend for us any relationship where we are abused or exposed to danger, fear, sadness, dishonour. And at the moment you are exposed to all of these things.... Keep going. Keep studying. Don't allow your wife's addiction to wreck your life too - your life is a gift from God. You are blessed. You will be okay.