Originally Posted by
michellec 
I know that he CAN change. He just doesn't put much effort into changing. We have talked about moving in together (I don't want to anytime soon), and he says that if we lived together, he would have no desire to drink (which I don't buy).
It's not a matter of wanting to change - it's actually changing that speaks volumes. The 2 of you cohabitating could end up being a living nightmare that is difficult to get away from. It also has NO bearing on his drinking. Alcoholics drink if given any reason or situation or none at all.
The marriage subject shouldn't be even on the table.
He may not realize how bad he is, even though he says so. His avoiding AA meetings also screams volumes that he is no where near ready yet to quit.
You have found a safe haven here at SR. No judging and you can speak your mind without fear of feeling weird or out of place. Nothing is really off the table if you have questions or are wondering about where to turn to next.
Good luck to you.
