Originally Posted by
MidnightBlue 
Boredom is one of the main enemies of sobriety, I think. It's not easy to fight, but fighting it opens new horizons.
And, besides at 39 day your body and mind are still adjusting. At this stage of sobriety I could stare at walls for hours and felt miserable, forcing myself to move on.
So true! I also was so bored without the daily drama that my drinking had created that I didn't think I was going to make it past a couple of weeks. Even though I hated the messes left over from my drunken dramas---not having any sort of soap opera going on even in a minor key sucked. Big time.
But Midnight's advice is dead-on. Your brain and your emotional wiring is still that of an alcoholic and now you're into the adjustment period. AKA:learning to feel stuff---and not feel stuff---without drink. I read a lot about this and it shocked me to realize that I had basically short-circuted most of my pleasure centers with years of constant alcohol abuse. My mind only knew how to have those highs and lows with the aid of alcohol. I couldn't get "high" naturally anymore. So when it was gone for the first month or two, I was bored stiff. Or numb. Or bored and numb. Whatever---I was flatlining and missing the emotional highs and lows immensely.
But here's the thing: it comes back
without the drama! I am about three months sober and I started feeling naturally good and bad for the first time about two weeks ago. At first I had no idea what was going on ("Was that a real feeling I just had?" "Am I actually
happy without being drunk?!!") but, miracle of miracles, it was true. It's subtle at first but when your brain and your emotional receptors start firing on their own again with natural stimulation, it's quite a thing. No, definitely not the high times and low times of drunken drama---but better. More subtle, but better.
Plus I recently watched a good friend go through all of this turmoil created around a relationship largely played out through booze and I thought, "Dear Lord how exhausting! I am so glad I don't have to go through that crap anymore!"
Shocking but true. Stick with it. The natural highs and lows are definitely better. Plus there's no panic about what you said or did the night before while wasted. Never having that feeling again is worth it so much more than all of my drunken drama cravings combined.
You're doing great---hang in there. It most definitely gets so much better.