MustLoveCoffee

Hey Everyone,

I'm having a hard day. I have 39 days as of today. I'm starting to figure things out and starting to even things out a bit. I'm in AA, I'm going to meetings, I'm posting here with my month clubs, I'm not drinking, blah blah blah.

But my stinkin' thinkin', or my AV, or whatever you want to call that bratty little voice in my head is just desperate for drama. See how it added that blah blah blah to the end of my last paragraph. What is up with that?

I've just been so flat for the last week or so, things aren't 24/7 drama like they used to be. Things that happen, just kinda happen now and I deal with it as they come, so even though they would have been dramatic say 2 months ago, now they're just things that happen and I deal with them and it passes.

I'M SO BORED! I mean, I didn't enjoy being a basket case, or maybe a I did, but why don't I like life being easy? What is wrong with me? How do I fix it?

Am I destined to be a flat person who just lets things roll off them now? Is this what recovery is about? I want serenity, but not if it means boring. But I don't want to drink either.

Where is the middle between drama and boredom and how do I find it?

Thanks for listening!