Welcome to the SR family!
I'm glad you found us, but sorry for the reason that brings you here. Please make yourself at home by reading, posting and venting when needed. We understand.
When I first arrived here at SR, I learned about the 3 C's of my husbands alcoholism:
I did not CAUSE it
I can not CONTROL it
I will not CURE it
So his blaming you for his drinking or not drinking is alcoholic B.S. and around here we call it quacking. Quack, Quack! Alcoholics are great manipulators. They will say anything to get us under their control so that they can continue to do what they want to do: DRINK.
I found it best to stop listening to my alcoholic's words and start looking at his actions. His actions did not match his words. I knew then he was lying and manipulating.
Here are some steps that helped me while dealing with an alcoholic:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
that comes from a link at the top of this main page.