"I know that he CAN change" (michellec)
Really? How do you know?
I lived in denial for 5 years, and I'm here to share denial is no place to live. Michelle, he may NEVER want to change. maybe this is who he really is. When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. You want him to be what you want, currently he is not prince charming, let go of the fantasy and come to your present day reality. His actions are disrespectful, mean and cruel. He is an self absorbed addict, you will remain #2 until he Chooses recovery for himself. Not for you, his mom, dad, or siblings, for himself. There is a chance he may never choose recovery.
and he says that if we lived together, he would have no desire to drink (which I don't buy).
^^^^^ NO,No,NO, ^^^^^^ again that is not how addiction works. His words are meaningless, he will protect his addiction first.
Please keep posting, ask questions, read all you can about addiction. Educating myself freed me from a life of pure hell.