Welcome, Michellec!
I can also relate to the empty promises of change that never come true. I am learning that in my own experience, I hung on (for 13 years) because I was hooked on the fantasy that one day he would be the man I occasionally saw - the sober, fun, husband that I would catch a fleeting glimpse of. I kept thinking time would change things, or I could help him through it.
What I know now is that I couldn't change or control his alcoholism. You are so young. At 20 you have your whole life ahead of you. You can start by reading the stickies at the top of the page - lots of good insight. . .but I will give you this advice - prepare for a long road ahead when dealing with alcoholism. If I could go back and talk to the 22 year old me and say something to her, I'd tell her to listen to my gut and run for the hills. If your BF works a program and stays sober, then that is wonderful! But if he can't. . .move on and save yourself the chaos.
Just my two cents. . .
