I found it amazing at how much I was getting out of any of my dysfunctional relationships. Even when my husband became addicted to pain killers, as much as I hated it, I can see now my own role in it. I am not saying I caused it but I sure tried to control it. Also, I think my own selfish codependency and my own fears contributed to much of the dysfunction. Being the victim and blaming him had become my way of thinking. It was much easier then looking in the mirror.