Originally Posted by
kelleyt 
This morning once again I was crazy in my head I was thinking if I let him go What if he forgets about me what if he dies what if he finds someone else what if ???? Then it hits me god already knows what's going to happen why do I need to know ?? I just need to keep praying for strength and wisdom to get to more meetings both Aa/alnon stay busy with my life !! I need to let this go I can't even talk to him when he is high cause I want to punch him in the face !! Would god do that ??No I can't talk to someone who is not in there right mind !! But I still try its insanity and I know it ?? I don't know what will happen to him or me but I know today that he is not mr right for me !! We are on to different street here I need to stay in my lane !! I want to let go !!! Tell me how u guys did it !! I need to keep hearing it thanks
Shinebright really made some excellent and amazing points in her response. For myself, I'm definitely still in the process of letting go-- but it's also all that codependence trying to make me hang onto something, to control the future of the relationship, struggling to hold onto the cracks in the foundation.
I'd say, I'm 60-40 in terms of letting to. I remember when I was 10-90... Then 30-70, etc. I remember when it all started, it physically made me sick to even THINK of leaving him, it made me feel wretched the thought of being intimate with anyone else. I felt guilty, isolated, alone, and like I was the one who had caused all of it; it was hell.
But write in your journal, go to your meetings, buy some books, read everyone's posts, and focus on what you physically have to do to get through the day. The more preoccupied you become with your needs, the easier it is to get perspective, and now when it hurts, it's not as bad. I used to cry for hours and hours--- now I only cry for a few minutes at a time- and only when I think too hard on it and dwell on what we used to have. It hurts, it's just not as cutting anymore.