That's a normal reaction for an alcoholic....go to a meeting, but then not go to a meeting. Been there, done that. Even after in recovery for awhile, I did it. Don't forget those people are alcoholics and have probably gone through, going through what your feelings have been. That's how we relate to each other. Just keep going to a meeting....ask for help to get inside the room. You don't have to say a thing, if you don't want to. And you may find out that there are some people there who you really like and guess what, they will like you too. You can do it! We all have.....