I think part of recovery is sort of like strength training - you don't notice how the effort pays off day to day and then one day you just realize that lifting the kayak off the roof is so much easier than it used to be...
I had one of those moments of realization today.
I've said to myself for seven years that the consequences A(now X)H suffers because of his drinking ate the consequences he suffers because of his drinking. It's not my fault if he sleeps in his own vomit, falls down the stairs, or gets a DUI. For some reason, today it has grown to a truth that I believe withy whole being. I have been able to let go of my guilt over HIS side of the street bein a mess because I've focused on cleaning up MY side.