Welcome Sharon to SR! You will find lots of advice here and learn much that can answer those questions you have.
Good choice on the meeting. Being a dollar short you could have asked for the extra buck but instead you got your but up and went to a meeting. That's the effort you will need to make it. Good for you!
Defects huh? I have a list of mine in my head. I bump into them when I wish I did not. But for me, accepting them and learning about them was the biggest help. I know my limits. I cannot drink. That's an absolut limit. So as a defect of not being able to drink I do what?
I don't go to bars. I don't hang with people that do. I don't risk certain places or events.
That goes for my crack use. I did the same as with my drinking.
Anyway... Glad you are here. Post a lot. Share your story. People want to hear and help.
K