Hi Anthony welcome to SR. The fact that you hate what alcohol does for you and you're at the stage of looking it up online is a really good sign. The thought of not drinking again can be scary, but once you get to the point where you are ready to give up it will be much easier than you think.
To help yourself succeed why not look up support service in your area, and put in place some strategies for the times of the day when you would normally drink?