Old 04-30-2013, 02:48 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Peter G
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Singapore
Posts: 737
OP's question is pretty simple to me. If I could only drink on weekends I'd never have quit... and I'd never be on a forum for substance abuse asking for thoughts on the matter. Me thinks the same is likely true for you CD.

On the other hand, if you think it might be a possibility, I'd go ahead and see if you can work it. It might be a brutal lesson, but perhaps it's one you still need to learn? Of course there's also the possibility you can deal and have drinking "weekends" authorized with no issues, but please do watch out for the next situation that steps up needing authorization as well, like weddings, birthdays, and every other thing.

IMO, since you're (1.) here, and (2.) found it necessary to get sober? Chances are gonna be slim you can deal a 'weekend is cool' scenario amigo.

That said, the BB taught me a great lesson... we need to be absolutely sure, as in 100% that we are NOT in control of drink no matter the circumstance. One can't really be 100% sure as long as there's some small hope that drinking is possible, you know, at some point... if 'this' were 'that', if 'the world is ending', if there is 'an especially good run of sunny days', e.t.c... All of that happy crap needs to be purged from our systems before we can truly understand what 'powerless' means. It is from that powerlessness we can fully understand the gravity of our dis-EASE, and the need to put sobriety over every other single thing in life.

Good weather aside, if you're sober 10 months and still miss it then a) you mos def DO have an issue with alcohol, and b) you're not working a program that can lead you to never have to miss it again... or perhaps you're not committed yet, fully. Point is we do learn how to enjoy biker rallies, music, and everything else, sans the props and propellant of liquor.

You can take my word for this or not... everything you once enjoyed as a drinker is possible to thoroughly enjoy AT LEAST as much being sober. It only takes figuring out how that's done, and that is a personal journey for you. Perhaps in order for you to figure out why booze is actually a buzz kill, you still need to see how miserable booze can make you feel... you know... just "one more time". Then maybe you'll understand that truly enjoying life in all it's wonderment has absolutely NOTHING to do with being inebriated.

Not trying to be harsh, but that's how I see it. Quite honestly, taking that particular question "maybe I can drink again if only ____" and showing it as a cruel, silly delusion? That's exactly what I had to experience first hand before lasting sobriety became possible. Oh, and those experiments (delusions) also just about killed me as I employed all sorts of knuckleheaded efforts to prove them. I can only hope if you do test the waters again it doesn't end very very badly. Remember; any horrid thing imaginable is entirely possible when a drunk decides he'd rather be drunk than sober.
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