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What are your thoughts on drinking at weekends only

Old 04-30-2013, 01:31 PM
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What are your thoughts on drinking at weekends only

Hi to you all
i have been 100% drink free for 10 months now,i have gone cold turkey throughout the whole time.I recognise all the benifits that come with sobriety and feel totaly in controll both mentally and phycically.I do however miss drinking a whole lot,there are things i can no longer do as they remind me of drinking,for example sitting around a fire with close friends at a bikers rally,i dont enjoy certain music that i used to when drinking,my question i am asking and battling with is if i controll my drinking will i be able to have a few beers on a weekend,my wife says she will support me and make sure i stick to weekends only.My drinking was a habit but only french lager on a nightly basis for 20 plus years.I think i will have a dull and unrewarding summer here in the UK without 4 or 5 cans of lager at weekends.
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Old 04-30-2013, 01:35 PM
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Totally up to you cardealer. Were you able to control your drinking before you quit? There are certainly exceptions to the rule, but generally if you couldn't control your drinking before, you aren't going to be able to control it now. And don't fool yourself into thinking your wife will keep you honest - we all know that no one but ourselves can control our drinking.
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Old 04-30-2013, 01:37 PM
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The fact that you think you need it to have a rewarding summer makes me think you still have a bit of a problem with it.

For most of us who drank on a daily basis for several years, we're never able to successfully moderate it. 'Weekends only' becomes 'weekends and holidays' then 'weekends, holidays and really bad days', etc. Plus, you'll just feel WORSE on Monday after drinking and spend the WHOLE week having to wait for the weekend so you can not feel like it's a dull and unrewarding day.

I would suggest finding other things you like doing to make the summer interesting.

Really, how interesting is drinking every weekend?? Isn't that OLD after doing it for more than 20 years. Get out. Try something new.
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Old 04-30-2013, 01:40 PM
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the great obsession of every drunk

Originally Posted by cardealer View Post

if i controll my drinking will i be able to have a few beers on a weekend.
if you are not an alcoholic
this may work for you
but
it is the great obsession of every drunk
to think that they can control their drinking

I tried to do it many times
and
it never worked for very long

onehigherpower
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Old 04-30-2013, 01:40 PM
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My guess is if you were here then you realised you had a issue..

I know I cannot drink again - I tried many time to just drink Saturday , then it started Friday and Sunday was added ...then I was back at it during the week only harder..

I can't control it once I start - I guess the question you should ask is can you control it?
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Old 04-30-2013, 01:41 PM
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car
i think most might disagree but.
if you can do it, go for it. i think it would take alot of mental strength to do it. right now i know, i think i have the mental strength to do it, but i want to stay sober for 1 year before i think or try anything. i miss sitting around a camp fire after a good day of riding with a cold one with my friends. it is good that you have your wife to support you, good for her! just please be careful and dont return to the days before.
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Old 04-30-2013, 01:59 PM
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Another question you should ask yourself is why you quit drinking in the first place CarDealer. And are you willing to go back to deal with the same consequences again after building up 10 months of sobriety? Keep in mind most times withdrawal grows progressively worse every time, and it literally only takes a short period of drinking to take you back to the same lows that you were previously at - and many times it's actually worse than the last time.
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:07 PM
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You can drink on weekends and still have a problem with alcohol... before I really stopped, I was drinking only on week-ends. But I was drinking like 20 beers or more and unable to stop. Drinking 2 or 3 beers just wouldn't do it for me and I always promised myself that I wouldn't overdo it. Except I did, almost every time.
I think that one of the definitions of alcoholism is that we cannot control our dinking. So even if you drink on week ends only, will you be able to control the quantity ingested?
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:07 PM
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A saying we have here in the States... "Remember; Only You can prevent Forest Fires". You know why you totally quit better than we do. If you can do so with out creating issues go for it. If it doesn't work; well... lesson learned. I have a hunch for me personally It would lead to weekday drinking again; and I so don't want to go there.
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:08 PM
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.My drinking was a habit but only french lager on a nightly basis for 20 plus years.I think i will have a dull and unrewarding summer here in the UK without 4 or 5 cans of lager at weekends.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like you may have forgotten why you got sober in the first place. Are you willing to take that chance? If you could have controlled your drinking don't you think you would have before? If you play with fire you will get burned. Do you believe you are an alcoholic? Why did you quit?
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:16 PM
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I tried that. Didn't work for me. I always ended up drinking before friday, plus the weekend.
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:24 PM
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I don't want to be a fuddy fuddy, but if you have the big book try reading page 31 and 32. It really helped me smash the delusion that I could drink normally. I am not saying that you can't. I just know that I can't.
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:35 PM
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.I think i will have a dull and unrewarding summer here in the UK without 4 or 5 cans of lager at weekends.

Sounds like the addicted mind is playing tricks with you .

Good luck whatever you do.
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:44 PM
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A last thought here Car Dealer...perhaps going back and reading some of your posts from last August might help in your decision. Especially this one about what you were thankful for about quitting at the time.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3544998

And also the one about your daughter bringing friends over
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:46 PM
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I can't say if you'll be able to stick to weekends only, I just know that I can't. And I like my sober life so much I don't want to go back to drinking.
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:48 PM
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My thoughts? If you made the decision to "get sober," you're probably an alcoholic, and if you're an alcoholic you won't be able to control your drinking. Ever.
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:48 PM
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OP's question is pretty simple to me. If I could only drink on weekends I'd never have quit... and I'd never be on a forum for substance abuse asking for thoughts on the matter. Me thinks the same is likely true for you CD.

On the other hand, if you think it might be a possibility, I'd go ahead and see if you can work it. It might be a brutal lesson, but perhaps it's one you still need to learn? Of course there's also the possibility you can deal and have drinking "weekends" authorized with no issues, but please do watch out for the next situation that steps up needing authorization as well, like weddings, birthdays, and every other thing.

IMO, since you're (1.) here, and (2.) found it necessary to get sober? Chances are gonna be slim you can deal a 'weekend is cool' scenario amigo.

That said, the BB taught me a great lesson... we need to be absolutely sure, as in 100% that we are NOT in control of drink no matter the circumstance. One can't really be 100% sure as long as there's some small hope that drinking is possible, you know, at some point... if 'this' were 'that', if 'the world is ending', if there is 'an especially good run of sunny days', e.t.c... All of that happy crap needs to be purged from our systems before we can truly understand what 'powerless' means. It is from that powerlessness we can fully understand the gravity of our dis-EASE, and the need to put sobriety over every other single thing in life.

Good weather aside, if you're sober 10 months and still miss it then a) you mos def DO have an issue with alcohol, and b) you're not working a program that can lead you to never have to miss it again... or perhaps you're not committed yet, fully. Point is we do learn how to enjoy biker rallies, music, and everything else, sans the props and propellant of liquor.

You can take my word for this or not... everything you once enjoyed as a drinker is possible to thoroughly enjoy AT LEAST as much being sober. It only takes figuring out how that's done, and that is a personal journey for you. Perhaps in order for you to figure out why booze is actually a buzz kill, you still need to see how miserable booze can make you feel... you know... just "one more time". Then maybe you'll understand that truly enjoying life in all it's wonderment has absolutely NOTHING to do with being inebriated.

Not trying to be harsh, but that's how I see it. Quite honestly, taking that particular question "maybe I can drink again if only ____" and showing it as a cruel, silly delusion? That's exactly what I had to experience first hand before lasting sobriety became possible. Oh, and those experiments (delusions) also just about killed me as I employed all sorts of knuckleheaded efforts to prove them. I can only hope if you do test the waters again it doesn't end very very badly. Remember; any horrid thing imaginable is entirely possible when a drunk decides he'd rather be drunk than sober.
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Old 04-30-2013, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
A last thought here Car Dealer...perhaps going back and reading some of your posts from last August might help in your decision. Especially this one about what you were thankful for about quitting at the time.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3544998

And also the one about your daughter bringing friends over
Great idea ScottFromWisconsin

You wrote this too Card,

10-03-2012, 12:28 PM #10 (permalink)
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problem is that if you suffer anxiety the drink will be a way out and then take a slow hold.It seems if you worry about things you are an easy target for the power of alcohol to lure you in.
Please just try and leave it alone.
_______________________________
(Sounds Like you are being lured in Card)
_________________________________

and this Card
10-03-2012, 11:36 AM #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Happier
NAPS! I love them. Go to sleep sober, sleep peacefully, wake up feeling great.
I,ve noticed that,i can take a nap in the afternoon on my days off,its a different kind of sleep when you are sober,wake up not scared of what i may have said or done,no dry mouth,headache,or regret.3 months yesterday i had my last drink.

(Sounds like you are taking sobriety for granted Card)


And this

08-24-2012, 07:29 AM #15 (permalink)
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Great post
i remember my kids bringing friends home in the evenings when they were young.my daughter explaining to her friends why her daddy kept bumping into things and was talking funny,then the embarrasment when the parents came to pick them up and i was slurring my words with a glased look in my eye.My daughter never brought many friends home.Just wish i had those years back to put things right

(Sounds like you forgot where the drink brought you in the past Card)
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Old 04-30-2013, 03:01 PM
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I used to be able to have 5 or 7 days off between drinking .. once i'd had my first drink all bets were off for how long i'd be drunk for , the crazyness that would happen whilst i was functioning but blacked out , the high blood pressure , hangovers and having high blood alcohol levels the day(s) after .

Life is better without it , the stress and damage it was doing to me , my body and my life .

bestwishes, M
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Old 04-30-2013, 03:02 PM
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My drinking was a habit but only french lager on a nightly basis for 20 plus years.

so 20+ years of nightly/daily drinking....then NO drinking and now this idea has bubbled up that you can JUST drink on the weekends.

hmmm. well two schools of thought here. if you NEVER drink again, you effectively have your drinking under control. if you drink again, there will be one of two outcomes....you now have the ability to control and moderate which you never had before.....or you don't.

if you don't, then what the heck are you gonna do? quitting doesn't EASIER over time, the alcoholic machine keeps on a crankin'.

you mention a couple things you feel you can't do anymore. there must be a companion list of all the things you CAN do now that you do not drink......can you list any? what's more important - campfires or getting drunk?
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