lost and confused
I've been married to my husband less then a year but has been with him for 6 years this Aug. I'm not a drinker anymore. I just don't see the fun in it, but my husband is a drinker. Now mind you he does not drink all the time but it's more on the weekends or when he is around someone that is a drinker. He used to be really bad and viloent with me, is not anymore and he is more verbal then anything. I try not to let it bother me, but that doesn't work. I have 2 young kids that have seen enough and my youngest is starting to have the same attitude that his father has my oldest just goes to his room cause he does not like his dad when he is drinking. Now my husbands family is all a big drinker. We seem to fight more when he is drinking then when he is sober. I stay home and take kids into my home (babysit) now mind you I love doing this. But when it comes to my husband I don't do anything at all, I laze around the house and do nothing. (but the house is cleaned up and the laundry is done and supper is on the table) that is what he classes as doing nothing all day. I'm lost, I need someone to talk to for support, now believe me i can have my bad days but who doesn't right. I can also feel like acting like him sometimes when he comes home and be drunk myself but I was raised 2 wrongs don't make a right. Now I also have drinkers on my side of the family cause my father is a drinker. I have no where's else to turn, i love my husband very much and don't want to leave him, and i know that he loves me as well, it's just when he drinks, he makes me feel so little that i'm not worth anything. And i need some help to be able to block his comments out of my head so that I don't feel so little. When he is not drinking he is such a better person, The person that I fell in love with, it just seems that the drinking has lost that person and he's not even sure how to get that person back( he used to be so sweet and caring) now he's angry and we all are walking on egg shells when he's home, we're not sure what is gonna walk through that door at the end of day. Please Help I'm so confused and lost I don't know what to do anymore.